Hot and Sour Words

crow, n. 1) A bird of ill omen, come calling when the world shifts disasterously beneath you. 2) A dish best savored on rare occasions, often served with a side of that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.

I clearly need to invest some time in a foreign language course or two, just to expand the idioms I can swear in. I feel like I could compose an ode to the curse, a symphony of blasphemy to wilt the innocent and confirm my unlady-like status for all the world to see. My masterpiece, my epic, my legacy, writ in profanity.

Need to talk to Wade for level-headed advice -- which scares me all on its own. Whatever explanation comes to light, I refuse to behave like a pack of panicked mice. There are still too many logical, non-paranormal avenues to explore for me to give up the ghost yet (ha, funny when no one can see it but me), but...fuck. Lillian Hellman? Where the hell did that come from. Fuck. Note to self: check room for bugs.

But if even a fraction of it is true...what then? And what's going on around here, and why? I just...maybe I'm simple, maybe (ha) I'm a stubborn bitch, but the implications disturb, distress, and depress me if I concede on certain points. I'm not even going to start writing down the questions that come to mind, for fear of giving them power to latch hold in my head, influence decisions and observations.

Let's be honest: for fear of the nightmares. They're bad enough as it is.